Cats and Crops

My mind has always been in a dark place; quite often, I exhaust myself just trying to find reasons to live. I left my depression untreated for a very long time. My family didn't understand it, my friends didn't understand it, and I sure as hell didn't understand it. Even still, I am often in denial of my depression's existence and the weight it has on my day-to-day life. More often than not, I choose to ignore my quiet depression to focus on the child screaming even louder - my constant anxiety and OCD.  No matter what anyone tells me or what I tell myself, I am going to panic. I am going to panic about being on time, I am going to panic about being ill, I am going to panic about making lunch, I am going to panic about being murdered - the list of worries does not end. I will panic until my heart rate skyrockets and I'm sitting on the ground in a giant freezer at Trader Joe's, crying my eyes out and trying not to throw up. My anxiety consumes just about ...